Introduction#
What happens when we stop challenging our minds? While some people might enjoy the tranquility of boredom, I strive to strike a balance. I appreciate quiet time to think and process my thoughts, but I also need challenges to exercise my brain. Without these challenges I notice a decline in my cognitive abilities, affecting my problem-solving skills, memory and attention span. I become less creative and less inclined to develop new ideas. My desire for new knowledge wanes, and I start to feel too comfortable with what I already know. This stagnation also impacts my self-perception, leading to a negative view of myself and struggles with my identity.
The Problem#
In April, I started a new job after being let go from Twitch. I was eager to face new challenges in a different industry—broadcasting—where I could expand my skill set and apply my existing knowledge. However, once I began, I felt a sense of emptiness. During training, I realized the job description was inaccurate, and there was limited room for technical growth. I went from managing 50,000 bare metal servers and 4,000 network devices worldwide, ensuring the network and services ran reliably, to opening tickets and sending emails while other teams fixed the issues. The contrast was stark and disheartening.
Initial Feelings#
A flood of emotions ensued. For context, I had just returned from South Korea, spent a day at home with my family, and then moved to an Airbnb in London to start my new job. I needed to find a permanent place to stay, all within two weeks. The rapid changes left me struggling to understand my feelings, like being lost in a river with strong currents, unable to find direction. Realizing I had no control over these changes added to my torment.
Balancing Emotions#
Balancing emotions is a skill that takes time and effort to learn. In our busy lives, learning to manage—not control—our feelings often falls to second priority. We have “more important” things to focus on, such as work, family, and relationships. However, our emotions play a significant role in everything we do.
Self Awareness#
Recognising our emotions and being aware of how we feel helps us to make conscious choices about how we respond.
Dual-Processing#
Humans use two processing systems:
- System 1 (Emotional): Fast, automatic and unconscious processing of emotional cues
- Intuition
- Emotional Response to stimuli
- Habitual behaviour
- System 2 (Rational): Slow, controlled and conscious processing of logical information
- Deliberate
- Logical
- Critical Thinking
Leveraging both systems simultaneously reduces cognitive bias, with each system feeding into the other.
Emotional Regulation#
Once we acknowledge and accept our emotions we can begin to regulate how we feel. We can then refocus our perspective to find a more balanced response
Note:
Reactions and Responses are different:
- Reaction: System 1, Emotional, Impulsive
- Response: System 2, Logical, Thought out
Coping Mechanisms#
We can combat overwhelming negative emotions using coping mechanisms such as mindfulness or humor. These help us find a sense of equilibrium.
Pushing Through#
Talking to people about my situation helped me process and better understand my feelings as well as get another opinion. I Identified the parts of my life I have control over and put a plan in place to make changes. In my case, taking control meant applying for new jobs and keeping myself busy outside of work. This practice gave me hope and the push I needed to keep going.
Continuous Learning#
Lifelong learning is crucial for maintaining mental agility and personal satisfaction. There are numerous ways to continue learning:
- Online Courses
- Reading Books
- Engaging in new Hobbies. This commitment to continuous learning helps keep the mind sharp and opens up new opportunities.
The Connection Between Mental and Physical Health#
Maintaining mental health is deeply connected to physical health. Regular physical exercise can greatly improve cognitive function and emotional well-being. For bonus points adopt healthy diet and adequate sleep. note to self: work harder on this part :|
Building Resilience#
Building resilience is essential for coping with setbacks and challenges. Developing resilience can help view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles. This perspective is key for development. There are many aspects that make up resiliency; I have listed some of them that are important to me.
Build Strong Relationships#
- Seek Support: Maintain strong connections with family and friends.
- Engage in Community: Participate in community activities
Improve Emotional Intelligence#
- Self-Awareness: Recognize and understand your emotions.
- Emotional Regulation: Learn techniques to manage and respond to emotions effectively.
Set Realistic Goals#
- Small Steps: Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps.
- Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small.
Develop Problem-Solving Skills#
- Analytical Thinking: Approach problems methodically, considering various solutions and their potential outcomes.
- Adaptability: Be flexible and keep an open mind; not everything will work.
Self-Confidence#
- Self-Efficacy: Believe in your ability to overcome challenges and succeed.
- Past Successes: Reflect on past successes and how you overcame these challenges.
Develop a Sense of Purpose#
- Meaningful Activities: Engage in activities that align with your values and give your life meaning.
- Help Others: A small action goes a long way. An act of kindness will fill your soul.
Social Connections and Support Systems#
Strong social connections and a reliable support system are really helpful for getting through difficult times. Having someone to talk to goes a long way. Taking part in a community can help build new relationships and provide necessary support as well as give you a sense of belonging.
Setting and Achieving Goals#
Setting personal and career goals is important for staying motivated and having a direction. Creating actionable plans to achieve your goals and making sure to celebrate small wins along the way. This will keep the momentum going along with a sense of accomplishment.
Mindfulness and Self-Reflection#
Practicing mindfulness and self-reflection can help manage stress and enhance self-awareness. Regular self-reflection is crucial for assessing your growth, understanding emotions better and making informed decisions about your future.
Some practices that I use are:
- Journaling
- Exercise
- Writing blog posts here and there
- Sitting alone, just me and my thoughts
Professional Development#
Continuously working to improve your professional skills is important, even if your current job does not provide a challenge. Networking can help you discover new opportunities. Additionally, try to find challenges within your current role. For me, this meant gaining confidence in hosting large meetings and taking charge. Although I was not challenging my mind with technical problems, I was still challenging myself to improve.
Sometimes it’s all about perspective.
Finding Purpose and Meaning#
One community I found to be very beneficial for me was the local hackspace. The hackspace is moving to a new site and still spinning up as I write this post. I was there; I helped put parts of the space together. I left my mark on the space with work I could be proud of. Volunteering gave me the feeling of contributing to something bigger than myself. A space that people will use for—hopefully—years to come. I was able to help build something that I can be proud of.
Conclusion#
Life’s challenges can be daunting, but they also offer opportunities for growth. By balancing our emotions and taking advantage of both emotional and rational thinking, we can navigate these challenges more effectively. Recognizing and regulating our emotions, while also employing coping mechanisms, can help us maintain a sense of balance and well-being. As I continue to seek new opportunities and keep myself engaged, I remind myself of the importance of challenging my mind and staying proactive in steering it’s course.
We are the captains of our ship and where we sail is our story. Take control and become a little bit better everyday. Society asks a lot of us but we need to take a step back sometimes and simply admire everything we have achieved and how far we have left to go. I am 22 (as of writing this post) and I have a lifetime ahead of me. This part of my life is simply the pebble thrown into the lake; I am excited to see what the ripples look like.